


A Black Decision

by Jadiona



Series: Life and Death Continuation [14]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 06:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16470698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadiona/pseuds/Jadiona
Summary: This story is from Julie's POV and deals with the three and a half weeks that Beau was missing between the last chapter of Death and Rebirth through the Epilogue. Experience her decisions to trust the Cullens as well as her decisions immediately after Beau finally came back.





	A Black Decision

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.
> 
> AN: This story is from Julie's POV and deals with the three and a half weeks that Beau was missing between the last chapter of Death and Rebirth through the Epilogue. Experience her decisions to trust the Cullens as well as her decisions immediately after Beau finally came back.
> 
> The raw and unedited version was first posted on my blog in nineteen short segments, but this is the final piece after it has been edited.

**A Black Decision**

My eyes flashed to the clock as I tried to wait until a reasonable hour to pay a second visit to the Cullens. It was 4:48 AM.

I didn't know where Beau was. I'd told them two days ago that I wanted to see him – that he could even tote his mate along if that was what it took to get him here. I wanted – no, I needed – to know he was alright.

Anything could have happened to them while they were in Italy, and the fact that he hadn't been there when I'd gone to offer my white flag was truly terrifying to me. He was supposed to have been there.

Part of me was terrified that he'd done something stupid like stayed in Italy. It was so  _typically_ him. I didn't know if I'd be able to save him if that was what he'd done, but I would try anyways. Someone had to, and it was obvious to me that his family wasn't doing it.  _If_ that was what was going on, anyways.

Of course, I couldn't be certain that was what was going on either. There was a possibility, though I couldn't see it, that now Edythe was back Beau had decided he had no desire to check on me anymore. It was possible my happiness and our friendship no longer meant anything to him. I couldn't see that as being the case though. Beau just wasn't like that.

I sighed and looked at the clock, again. It was 4:52 AM – not even a remotely acceptable time to be going and paying a visit to someone. Or it wouldn't be if the someone was human... But they were vampires with no ability to sleep. I gave up trying to wait and opened my bedroom window, quickly climbing out.

I jogged over to the forest edge before ripping my shirt off over my head and quickly sliding out of my shorts. I knelt and quickly tied the clothes in my ankle strap before I focused on shifting to a wolf.

…

Lee's mental snort in my head was the first thing I heard as I raced off.

 _Shut up,_ I snarled in annoyance, though there was no command behind my words. I wouldn't force someone to not have a mind of their own. I wouldn't.

_He's with his own. You should leave him be._

I didn't want Lee's opinions though.  _He's my friend, and he's a protector too. He belongs with more than just the bloodsuckers._

Lee snorted again, and I ignored him as he made some caustic mental remark I didn't care to hear.

I continued my run towards the Cullen house.

…

The rest of my run was quiet, minus the grumbling from Lee – who I was studiously ignoring.

When I arrived at the Cullens house, Edythe was outside, apparently waiting for me. She was alone.

 _Where's Beau_? I thought furiously. I had been concerned on my first trip when she'd claimed he was hunting alone – even then, it hadn't sat right with me – but I'd passed it off as paranoia on my part.

"He's not here, Jules," she said softly, she was looking at me like I was a wounded animal.

 _He is NOT DEAD._ It was the first thing that the concern in her eyes made my mind jump to, and I wouldn't accept it. I couldn't. Not after all I'd done to make sure he was alright, that he'd be able to live and be – if not entirely happy – then at least free of the misery that her abandoning him had caused.

She visibly flinched. "No, he's not. He's just not here."

 _Where then?_ I immediately started to wonder if he was in Italy still. I contemplated if I could ask for a loan to get a plane ticket to go there. I tilted my head to the side as I stared at her, knowing she'd heard my curiosity.

Her lips twitched slightly. "That wouldn't be a loan, Jules. A loan implies you'd live long enough to actually pay it back. And one of your kind going there would be a death sentence." She paused, pinching the bridge of her nose briefly. "Besides, he came back with us, he's just not here, anymore."

 _THEN WHERE IS HE?_ I was getting really pissed off.  _You might not care about him the way I thought you did, but I do. If you cared, he'd BE HERE._ I remembered the carefully worded letter – one made to inflict pain without saying anything that couldn't be taken back later – remembered the CD case I'd unwrapped and the pained noise from him as I'd shown it to him, and I remembered the leather necklace with the little plastic bottle cap on it that I'd picked up off the forest floor to keep safe for him – for the day she returned to him.

Edythe's eyes flashed in anger. "I love him, mongrel. And if I couldn't tell that you cared deeply for him as well, I'd throw you off of my property for your callous insinuation."

I growled loudly. She wasn't answering my question.

"I don't know where he is, exactly, but he needed time to himself to figure things out so he's gone off on his own for awhile. He'll come back eventually."

 _Why'd he leave_? I could only think of two things that would make him flee. One of the two was in front of me, and the other... I imagined my Beau with burgundy eyes.

"Yes, you're right. On both counts."

I shook my head. In spite of what I'd just thought, I couldn't believe it.  _He wouldn't kill a human._

"He didn't have a choice. The Volturi, our rulers, wanted proof that he was willing to do what was necessary. We wouldn't have made it out alive if he hadn't done it."

I got it instantly.  _Of course, saving your life would be the one thing that would send him that way._

She looked away, telling me that I was on the nose before she looked at me again. "He is and we are -" she waved her hand behind her at the house "- vampires, Jules. We are all capable of it. I know you know that."

 _Yes, he is physically capable of it, but it isn't who he is._ I lifted my lip a little as I made my next comment.  _None of you are like that._  
_  
_ "We aren't, but I'm surprised you see it that way."

I remembered Beau stopping mid attack as we'd been practicing fighting, remembered him distracting Victor so he wouldn't kill Jaelyn, and I remembered my conversation with Archie.  _I am not my ancestors. I am willing to learn, to grow to something than more than pure instinct. Besides, I have seen real evil._ I remembered as Victor came out of the water and attacked Kelly, remembered the sound of her neck being snapped, remembered as his eyes turned towards Colette, and I remembered my stark fear as I worried I wouldn't reach them in time to save my cousin.  _You, whatever all of you are... you aren't that. I know the difference._  
_  
_ She looked at me with eyes – too humane and sad to belong to the cold blooded monster that our legends claimed.

 _Why didn't you chase Beau when he left?_ I thought before she could speak.

"He asked me not to."

She said it like it was the most obvious reasoning in the world, but I shook my head.

 _Don't you know him at all?_ I demanded mentally.

"Of course I know him. I know him better than you, Jules." She was angry.

I didn't care, I was angrier.  _If you know him so well than why aren't you chasing him. When he says he doesn't want to be followed that means he needs it._

"He's going to come back on his own. He doesn't need it."

I shook my head because she was wrong. Beau was a runner. I'd watched him do it often enough to know it was the truth, and I was familiar with the trait. I had two older brothers that were both runners. They'd both taken off the instant they could after the going got tough. But...  _I'll give him a month to get back here. And if he hasn't returned at that point and you aren't following him by then, I will._

A month. Because there was a chance – a slim one, but still a chance – that Beau actually needed this time to himself. But if he wasn't back in a month than it was because he was running simply to run.

She hissed at me. "He can take however long he needs. You don't understand vampires."

_I don't need to understand vampires. I understand Beau. Do you?_

She crouched like she was intending to pounce on me, but I snorted derisively, because she wouldn't really attack me if she truly cared about him. Just like I wouldn't attack her.

 _One month and you follow. Or I will. Your choice._ I turned on my heel to leave, trotting away quickly.

I was almost in the forest when she spoke again.

"Wait. About Victor, do you have any idea where he's at?"

 _Why do you want to know?_ I didn't turn to look at her.

"Victor needs to die. And if he's dead before Beau gets back, then all the better."

I remembered what had happened to Kelly again.  _On that, you and I agree. Let me shift to human._

I jogged the rest of the way into the cover of the forest.

…

Once I was dressed, I stepped back out of the forest and discovered Edythe was missing but the sliding glass back door was left open.

"Well that's an invitation if I've ever seen one," I muttered under my breath before heading to the door and going inside.

"It was, and it's not like you haven't been in this house before," Edythe said.

"Yeah, we're still trying to get the dog stench out," the big female said, though her voice sounded joking. I was pretty sure her name was Eleanor.

"Yes, that's Eleanor," Edythe said, responding to my thoughts. She pointed to the older couple near the kitchen – I recognized the woman as Carine from the others' memories. "Our parents, Carine and Earnest."

"I don't need a by name introduction," I grumbled.

"Would you rather call us bloodsucker 1, 2, 3, etc?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but she cut me off.

"Don't answer that."

I smirked slightly.

"Archie and Jessamine are upstairs and Royal is in the garage."

"Okay, you've done your obligatory introductions. Now, to answer your question, do you have a map of the area?"

The little one, Archie – I rolled my eyes internally as I named him in my head – practically flew down the stairs with a map of Washington in his hands. He took it over to the kitchen counter and spread it out.

I walked over to it. "These are the spots where we know Victor has attacked someone." I pointed to the different spots, starting with the first one and ending with the last attack that I'd been there for. "Here is where Jana Fuller was killed." I pointed to first beach. "We suspect it was by the vampire that Victor created, Raven Biers. Sadly we're not sure as we have been unable to verify the description with pictures that we saw in her grandparents' house."

"What do you mean?"

"An elder of the tribe saw the vampire just as she dived into the water. Our elder swears that the vampire that disappeared had short and stark violet hair. Nothing we've seen conforms to that. Raven was a dirty blond per the pictures we found."

"Well if she was turned with her hair dyed... it's possible it's still that color. Or she could have dyed it after she was turned for that matter," Edythe said, distracted. Suddenly her eyes flicked to Archie. "What was that?"

"I didn't know!" Archie's eyes were wide.

Jessamine was at his side before I could demand to know what was being unsaid. She placed herself as a protective barrier between Archie and Edythe – which put her in direct line with my sight. I'd seen Jessamine before, of course, in the minds of others and just two days ago when I'd come to give them more freedom, but I'd never before focused on her.

I stepped back involuntarily as the hundreds – if not thousands – of criss-crossing crescent shaped scars came into focus in my mind. They not only covered her arms and hands but ran up her neck, and I was sure, if she removed her shirt, they likely covered her entire body. They even ravaged her face. I swallowed. I recognized the style of scar well. After all, Beau had three of them.

How did anybody survive that?

Jessamine smiled wryly, probably at both my visible reaction and the emotions I was sure I was throwing out.

I shook my head. I couldn't help but wonder, were there scars down -

"Yes," Edythe said, looking at me and cutting me off mid-thought.

My eyes widened infinitesimally. That... had to hurt.

Edythe turn her attention back to Jessamine and Archie. "I wasn't going to hurt him."

"I never know when it comes to anything involving Beau. I swear the way your emotions jump all over the place, I'd think you were the newborn, not him."

Edythe crossed her arms over her chest, looking wholly unimpressed by Jessamine's assessment of her emotional state. "Tell me, Jess. How would you feel if I knew all these potentially dangerous secrets about  _your_ mate, and I chose not to warn you. How would you feel?"

"I don't know that the one with the purple hair was a danger... to him," Archie said.

Edythe narrowed her eyes.

"I saw maybe a half second vision of you and Beau together, and  _someone_ with purple hair. I didn't even know if the person was a guy or a girl, Edythe. Let alone if it was a vampire, werewolf, or what. But it looked like  _you_ had been bit. Not Beau. You. I added it in my note to him because he was going to be there at the same time as you and I didn't see myself there. That was all."

Edythe closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose.

I didn't need to read her thoughts to guess that she was wishing for patience.

Her lips twitched.

I grumbled one of my mother's favorite sayings in Quileute about eating one's own shorts. It appeared I'd have to be the adult and steer the conversation back on course. I wondered if my mom would be proud of me... or not. I was getting good at my position as alpha and chief leader... sadly, I only seemed to be able to pull it off when dealing with shifter and vampire miscreants.

Edythe's lips twitched again.

"The fight Beau had with Victor and then killed the immortal child was in this clearing." I pointed to it, trying to blatantly ignore the feeling of the ice cold bodies on either side of me. "Beau told me once that you called that place a baseball field."

Edythe looked at the map. "Yes, we played there when he watched one time – just before he was turned, in fact."

"So based on the different points that we've spotted and dealt with him, there doesn't really seem to be any central base. The points aren't any kind of uniform shape and they don't really have any one clear intersecting point that might be the eye of the situational storm."

Edythe arched an eyebrow at me and I blushed, praying to myself that she couldn't tell even though I knew that was likely impossible.

"What? I like CSI," I muttered under my breath, ducking my head.

"So where do we go from here, if we're going to work together?" It was Jessamine that asked.

"We can patrol Forks and La Push in pairs or trios. Embrianna and I are both already used to patrolling with Beau, so it won't be that hard for either of us to work with one of you. Quilla's never patrolled with Beau, but she was looking forward to it. It won't be hard to get her or Sarah on board to the idea." Now Lee on the other hand...

"And what about your male wolf, Lee?" Edythe asked, reading my mind again.

"He patrols alone. Or with me. No one else." The twelve hours it had taken for Embrianna to heal from the broken spinal cord he'd given her had taught me that one. "He's..." I looked for a nice way to say it, but finally just said, "Volatile."

"I can see that," Edythe murmured.

I grimaced. Just then the grandfather clock in their house rang out seven o'clock.

"Crap," I muttered, then spoke louder, "I have to go. My mom wants to go to Charlie's place today."

I spun and took off out the door before anyone could reply, but saw Edythe's raised eyebrow out of the corner of my eye.

…

In the three weeks that followed, I found a kinship with the Cullens I hadn't expected. Each and every one of them had a unique personality and an intriguing view of life.

Carine was a brilliant doctor with an expertise that one could only truly gain by being over three hundred years old. She showed me the paintings of her history. I'd been especially intrigued by the painting of her with the ones called the Volturi – I'd decided that they didn't really look like all that. I could take them... one at a time.

It was hard, almost impossible actually, to be near Earnest for any length of time and not miss my dad, George. He just had that kind of loving, devoted, and compassionate attitude that made me think of my father. It made it impossible for me to hate him.

It was possible that I liked Eleanor the most of all of them. She was, without a doubt, a giant, cuddly, grizzly bear. She'd managed to break my ribs both times she'd decided to hug me, for no apparent reason. She liked football, baseball, basketball, and whatever other sport she could find on their tv with fifteen hundred channels of nothing – her words, not mine. In spite of being a vampire that had slipped up more times than I'd wanted to hear – though she'd told me freely, laughing like I'd said the world's greatest joke when I had grimaced at what she told me – she was free and easy going. She enjoyed  _life_ just for the sake of living.

The deep contrast to her was Royal – in spite of them being very much in love, mates even. Where Eleanor was happy, Royal was bitter. Where Eleanor was carefree, Royal was reserved. But Royal was also honest, blunt, and ultimately unconcerned with what anyone else thought about him. It was impossible for me not to like him, even as I totally got why Beau and him didn't get along.

Archie varied between being constantly near me when I was there and completely gone. When I'd asked him what his deal was, he said I was the greatest mute button he'd ever met. I'd arched my eyebrow at that, but had ultimately let it slide. When a box filled with more brand new clothes than I'd ever seen before was randomly delivered to my house I hadn't needed anyone to tell me exactly who was responsible. I'd never met a guy – at least one that wasn't gay – that enjoyed fashion as much as Archie did.

Jessamine was the only one that I learned next to nothing about. She kept her distance from me, only asking questions or talking to me when she had something important to add. Still... if I didn't pay  _too much_ attention to the hundreds of scars that littered her body... I liked her.

In fact, I got along with all of them, even Edythe... something that seriously bugged me. Still, as the month was approaching it's end, I noticed that Edythe didn't look like she was going to chase Beau – and that fact pissed me off.

…

Then, twenty-three days after I'd told Edythe that either she followed him in a month or I would, everything changed...

"My whole body aches," Colette said.

I flinched, but said softly, "It's your body preparing for the change to shifter, Cole."

She'd seen me turn when I'd jumped in to save her life from Victor, so she knew what I was already, and in the last three weeks she'd shot up over a foot in height. It didn't look right on my thirteen year old cousin. She still looked like a kid, except now she looked like an extremely tall  _awkward_ kid, but I prepared her for what was coming anyway, knowing that she deserved to know.

"And I can choose your pack or Sam's, correct?"

"Yes."

Just then there was ruckus in the nearby trees and I turned to check, surprised to see Quilla half tumble out of the trees a moment later, still yanking her shirt into place.

"Quilla, what's going on?"

"Beau's at the old border."

I blinked in shock. "Why?"

"I..." She bit her lip. "He asked for Samantha. I was halfway to finding her when I thought about how pissed off you'd be if I actually did that. I think you need to go get him before Paula or Jaelyn see him."

"Why did he want Samantha?" I could think of exactly one reason why he'd wait at the old border and ask for her, and I needed to know if I was correct or not.

"I don't know but... his eyes are red." She shrugged.

I opened my mouth, about to say a very nasty word, but then I remember my thirteen year old cousin. I closed my mouth. "Why don't you tell Colette what you like about being a shifter. I'll go deal with it."

"Err... sure," Quilla agreed uneasily.

I stomped past her into the forest before I started to run. She hadn't told me exactly where Beau was waiting at, but I could take a guess. Some people were predictable. And since the first time he'd crossed to meet me that day when I originally shifted, he  _always_  crossed at that same spot. As I neared the spot, I slowed to a walk, smelling him on the wind.

What I found at the border made me close my eyes for a moment. Beau was kneeling with his head bowed and his eyes closed in supplicant compliance. I wanted to scream at him to get the hell up. I didn't.

Instead I took a calming breath and continued my walk until I was standing directly in front of him.

"No," I said firmly. Angrily.

He opened his eyes, staring up at me with blood red irises. I could see the plea in his eyes for something I was unwilling to give him. I wouldn't do it. I  _couldn't_.

I reached down, taking his hands and pulling on them hard. It took him a moment, but he finally stood up.

It didn't make the plea go away from his eyes.

So I said it again. Just to make sure he understood. "No." My voice even more adamant this time.

Then I pulled him forward, stepping backwards so he could join me on my side of the old border.

"It won't happen, Beau. So forget it."

"Julie..." He shook his head, the movement frustrated. "Do you not see my eyes?"

They'd be impossible for me to not see. "Yes, I do."

"Then you know what that means, and you already told me once that I wasn't a monster because I'd never killed someone. Obviously, that has changed."

"I also told you we'd reevaluate if you ever made a mistake. I didn't tell you that I'd condemn you to death for it," I snapped, starting to get seriously pissed off at my friend.

"It wasn't some accidental slip-up, Jules," he said it softly, but there was a dangerously cold note in his voice that I'd never heard before.

I looked at him in suspicion. I let go of his hands and crossed my arms over my chest as I moved over to lean against a nearby tree. "Okay, why did you do it then?"

I silently begged to whatever god was out there that he wasn't going to say something that would make me have to kill him.

"Julie, you don't want to know that kind of info." His voice practically begged me to drop it, but he should have known I wasn't going to.

I glowered at him. "You're right, I don't, but you came here because you wanted me to kill you. So tell me why. Make me believe that you truly are nothing but a monster now. Mind you, monsters don't have consciences." Making me believe it was the exact opposite of what I wanted him to do in reality, of course.

"I was here for Sam. I didn't want you involved."

He really expected me to believe  _that_?

"If that was true you would have gone to Elliott's place, or at the very least you would have tracked down one of her pack. You told Quilla though. You knew you'd get me."

"No, I just –"

I cut him off, my voice half of a snarl. "Yes, you did. I'd ask if this was about Edythe, except I've been at the Cullens every single day and know she's been worried sick about you."

"Why have you been there every day?" he asked in confusion.

"At first, because I was worried when you didn't show up the way I expected you too. Also though, you may have decided to flee the area, but we still have Victor to deal with on our end. Now tell me what happened."

He turned away from me, facing in a direction opposite of myself. It was a bad habit of his that I was relatively certain he'd picked up from me. "I've killed four people since I went with Archie to Italy. The first was there, in Volterra. They weren't going to let us leave unless I proved myself to them. Honestly, of the four, she's the only one I regret killing. She was an innocent woman and didn't deserve to die like that. The other three... The first was a drug dealer, and the other two... Well, they weren't nice people."

I tilted my head to side, needing more information. "And how do you know they weren't?"

"The way they smelled was malicious. I may not be able to sense emotions like Jessamine can or read minds like Edythe, but I still have my nose. I don't know what they liked to do. I don't know if they were wife-beaters, thieves, rapists, murderers... my sense of smell couldn't tell me that. I suppose it's even possible that they never did anything and just had those types of thoughts all the time." He paused briefly. "I suppose they could have even been coroners that just really enjoyed their jobs. I don't know. I actually don't want to know."

I really wanted to cross my arms over my chest in a show of displeasure, too bad for me they were already there. "Because then you'd humanize your victims and you don't want to do that."

"What?" he asked as he looked at me suddenly.

"Do you think it would be easier for Sam to kill you than me? We both know you, we have both humanized you... the rest of the Cullens too, to some extent."

"Then I'll leave."

"You should leave and  _go home_. But you won't. Because if you had any intention of going back to them, you'd already be there and not here. The question is why. I've spent enough time with them in the last weeks that I know they'd forgive you for killing a few humans. So what else did you do while you were gone?" I had to ask, because I  _knew_  Beau, and it wasn't the death of four humans that had driven him here. It was something else.

He opened his mouth but shut it a moment later as he looked away again.

 _Interesting_. And by that I meant disturbing as hell. "You aren't going to tell me, are you?"

He shook his head fiercely.

"Whatever you did, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. If I, a shape-shifter who values all human life – even when they are creeps – can forgive you for running off for a few weeks and just being a normal vampire, then they can forgive you for whatever you think you did."

Or it was so bad he knew that if he actually said it that I'd be forced to kill him and he truly didn't want to die. I didn't know which idea made me want to vomit more.

When he didn't reply, I sighed. "Come on... Stay the day with me."

I stepped forward, once again taking his hands.

…

I dragged Beau along through the forest until we reached  _my cabin_ , and I quickly ran through viable explanations for why my scent was everywhere in the area.

"I... umm... stay here from time to time -" in fact, I hadn't been at my mother's house in over two weeks, I saw no point in mentioning that "- but this is just an abandoned cabin, officially. It's part of my ancestor's property. My second great-grandmother's cabin, actually. Anyways, I think it will be a good place for you to stay. At least for now."

I waited for Beau to call me out on my lie. I wasn't all that good at lying to him to begin with and he was a  _vampire_. I was sure my heart rate had picked up, if nothing else.

He just nodded his head though, accepting my explanation without any kind of disbelief on his part.

I wanted to scream at him to act like  _my Beau,_ to notice the fact that I was lying to him and to call me out on it the way he was supposed to. I wanted to pummel my fists against his chest and beg him to snap the hell out of it. I wanted to  _make him_ act the right way again. But I swallowed it all down, because he was here, and as long as he was here, I could fix it. I'd fixed him before – after they'd abandoned him – and though this time the damage was clearly of his own making, I could do it again. I would do it again... because he was my friend... because I loved him... because someone had to.

It hadn't escaped my notice that Archie – the psychic – hadn't shown up.

"There's a small cot in the cabin, a chair, a table, and a small dresser. Why don't you go inside? I need to shift and tell the others that you're going to be staying here for awhile and also tell them about your... minor slip ups." I grimaced at the words, but I refused to admit – even to myself – that they were anything else.

"Okay," Beau agreed softly.

He seemed hundreds of miles away... if he was human I think I'd call him a vegetable. The lights were on, there was even someone answering the door, but whoever that someone was... it wasn't him. It wasn't my Beau

I forced those thoughts away as well, instead shoving him toward the cabin door and waiting until he went inside before I yanked my top off and shimmied out of my shorts to shift so I could get Lee over here to watch him while I went to talk to Sam... and the Cullens. I wasn't sure which conversation I was actually dreading more.

I shifted into my wolf form landing on all fours only to be immediately assaulted by three different mental voices.

_Screw you, brother!_

_Why don't you go home and sleep already?_

_Oh my god, would you both shut up!_

_This is between me and my sister!_

_Stay out of it, Embrianna!_

**QUIET!**

The mental ping pong between Sarah and Lee was a constant when they were both patrolling at the same time and it often forced me to do things I didn't particularly enjoy doing, like making lots of orders.

_Lee, I need you to come to my cabin and watch Beau. If he tries to leave or if some human actually is stupid enough to go that far into the woods then I need you to stop him by any means necessary. Up to and including dismemberment. Just no burning him allowed._

I could feel Embrianna's shock at my words, but I kept myself from thinking on Beau's eyes by focusing on the inner turmoil in my pack.

_Sarah, go home and shift back so you can start on your homework. You've done enough patrolling. Embrianna, go pair up with one of Sam's pack and patrol with them._

None of them made any move to follow my instructions.

_Do I need to make all of that an alpha order?_

Sarah took off towards her house and Embrianna raced off to find one of Sam's pack while Lee headed my way.

_I'll explain in more detail in human form when you get here, Lee._

I shifted back to my human form and quickly redressed.

…

"Look, I don't expect Beau to try anything," I said to Lee when he finally arrived. "But he might. He's not..." I looked for the right word before finally giving up and shrugging. " _Stable_  at the moment. I don't want him to do something he'll regret later so if it looks like he might then stop him, no matter what it takes to do it." Internally I shuddered at what I was telling Lee, but Beau could heal – not that that made it any better.

"But why?" Lee asked in confusion, crossing his arms over his shirtless chest. He could get away with it because he was a guy – and it wasn't the first time since he joined the pack that I wished society thought of topless women in the same way they did men. It would make my load that I had to carry anytime I was in wolf form a hell of a lot less.

"You'll see when you go in the cabin. I have a couple of things I have to take care of and then I'll be back to relieve you," I stated, completely avoiding answering his question.

His brows knitted together for a minute before he finally muttered, "Okay."

"I'll be back."

I turned and walked away from him, heading towards La Push so I could go to Elliott's. I knew it was where Sam was supposed to be.

I made it my business to know her schedule so we could avoid each other as much as possible. The truth was, it was as much a part of why I'd started rooming in the little cabin as the need to be away from my overbearing mom was. Two alphas couldn't reside comfortably in the same space – especially a space as small as La Push – so I'd tried to put some much needed distance between us... not that it did much good when I constantly had to involve her.

There was no avoiding it though. Especially not at this current time.

…

I arrived at Sam and Elliott's without any issues, quickly walking up to the front door and knocking on the door.

I had barged in in the past without a specific request, but figured I owed a little bit of courtesy to her given what I was about to tell her. It wasn't going to change the fact that I was going to say it, but I felt guilty all the same.

It took a minute but Sam finally opened the door.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Beau's come back. He's staying at my cabin. The only reason I'm notifying you is his eyes are a little -" a lot "- red at the moment. He made a mistake while he was away and he feels terrible about it." In fact, he wanted to die because of it, but I wasn't about to tell Sam that. "It wasn't anyone local, the person wasn't even on this continent. I know it goes against our beliefs, but I won't allow him to be killed just because he made a mistake." Or four, but I didn't see the point in sharing that detail. "He just needs time to get back on his feet."

Sam crossed her arms over her chest. "And if I disagree with your assessment?"

"Then you'll do what you have to. And I'll respond accordingly. Just know you won't like the price for harming him." I crossed my arms over my chest in mimicry of her.

"When are you going to stop protecting him?" Sam snarled.

"Look, if he attacks or kills anyone else then I'll handle him myself. But I won't condemn him to death for a mistake made halfway around the world. Especially since if he'd waited only a couple of weeks to come back none of us ever would have known. He came to get help. Let me do that."

Sam didn't say anything for a minute before finally grunting and shutting her door in my face.

I could have shifted and ran through the forest to get to the Cullens, but I ended up riding my motorbike to their place instead. I'd needed the time just to clear my mind as I still wasn't sure what I was going to say to them, and more specifically what I was going to say to Edythe.

I started thinking about the patrols to keep Edythe out of my head when I got within what I believed to be her range of hearing. Even so, when I arrived at their house, she was waiting outside for me.

"Why'd you ride to our place today?" Edythe asked, her eyes narrowed at me like she was trying to dissect some sort of problem.

"Beau's back." I refused to think ahead, trying to focus on anything but what I was going to have to tell her – and by extension the six others that were probably in the house eavesdropping.

"What? When?" Edythe asked, louder than necessary.

"He showed up a few hours ago in La Push." Well, he waited for me to come get him at the old border actually.

Edythe latched onto my errant thought. "Why did he wait for you at the treaty line?"

I remembered his red eyes even though I didn't want to. "I  _think_  he came looking for something. Maybe it was something that I'm not going to do, or maybe it's something that I actually can do. I don't know." I shook my head, working hard to not think the real reason why he'd come to me – what he'd really wanted me to help him with. "But, I'm pretty sure I'm not the one he actually needs, Edythe. I think – and you know exactly how much I hate saying this – but I  _think_  you should go to La Push and get him. Today."

Edythe frowned at me, not saying anything for a few seconds before finally responding, "He promised me he'd come back to me someday on his own and that he just needed time to think and sort out his life. If he went to you, he must believe that you are part of what he needs."

I let out an annoyed snarl at her words.

"Why don't you get it? Beau's a runner. It's a typical attribute of men... some women to, but that's besides the point." Like the woman in front of me who took off the moment the going got tough and it started to look like rough seas ahead.

Edythe snarled at me.

"Your letter was cruel enough to keep him from chasing you back in September, but you needed to be chased just as much as he needs it now. It's not like you have to go very far either. He's just a few short miles away. Go get him and convince him to come home."

"Our problem has always revolved around  _trust_ , not some stupid need to be caught. He promised he'd come back on his own. If I go to him now and ask him to return with me than I'm completely destroying that trust. I'll lose him for sure then. Or is that what you want? So you get some easy in with him after driving me away from him."

"Is your jealousy making you so blind that you can't see what the boy you claim to love really needs?" I spat angrily.

"He needs for me to trust and respect him."

I threw my hands up in disgust at her words. "No. What he needs is to know that he's loved. That he's wanted. Even as he is now... especially as he is now."

"Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do, because he knows I love him."

I walked away from her to keep myself from punching the stubborn vampire. I turned back towards her. "Look, maybe he does know it here -" I patted my own chest. "- but does he know it here?" I tapped on my brain.

Edythe narrowed her eyes at me.

When she didn't respond to my question in too long of a time I ran my hands through my hair and walked even further away from her.

The way Beau and Edythe both acted made them two peas in a very bloody pod. I snorted.

I started to think, started to try and figure out another option since the obvious one wasn't going to work since she wasn't listening. I just wasn't sure I'd be able to help Beau, not this time...

"Who says he needs help? He just needs time," Edythe demanded, poking around in my brain again.

"Trust me, he needs help. You don't get it, why he came to me, He wanted me to -" I stopped talking, shutting the thought off cold at the same time as my voice.

I could feel her staring a hole in my back. "What did he want you to do?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. Okay, look. If you aren't going to come now, then don't come. Period. He needs something steady at this time that will help him to get back on his feet. I'm pretty sure I can do it... if you don't interfere."

"What? First you want me to come get him and now you want me out of your way."

Edythe didn't say it out loud, but I could practically hear the jealous accusation again.

I turned to look at Edythe. "Look, it isn't forever, but if you aren't going to come get him now because you want to prove that you trust him -" I snorted, I was more of a hold tight and never let go kind of girl, myself "- then you're going to have to actually trust him and give him time to come back to you. Most likely he'll be back in less than three months. He doesn't... love me. Not really. He loves you though and he will come back to you." It killed me to say that, but I knew I was right.

I walked back over to my bike and got on it. "I'm serious. Come to La Push either today or tomorrow or give him space. It's your choice, but I'd choose the former if it was me."

I started the bike and drove away, not waiting on an answer.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Why end it there? Essentially, this was just to show some info on the missing weeks between the last chapter of Death and Rebirth and up through the Epilogue. Anything that occurred in the months between the Epilogue up through chapter eleven of Rebirth and Affliction is for a different missing moment. At this point, Jules knows where she truly stands with Beau, she's decisive. But the months that lead up to Beau returning to Edythe confuse Jules and she's no longer making clear decisions. That's why that one-shot/short story is The Black Months. And it will be posted later.


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